2 months ago I decided to stop shaving and grow a beard.  Not one of those sculpted pretty beards but a manly, outdoorsy, ungroomed one.  I’d never done this before.  Why did I decide to do this now?  I found a single gray hair in my stubble.  I figured I better find out what I look like with a full beard before I turned into Captain Salt & Pepper. Here’s what I learned about me and beards: I have cowlicks in my neck-beard region.  They look as goofy as you’d imagine. Once my facial hair grows long enough that I can pull on it, I CAN’T STOP playing with it EVER.  By bed time my face hurts. After 6 weeks, my facial hair is long enough that it creates an actual layer between my face and my pillow.  Sleeping feels weird. My face looks very long with a beard. I look older with a beard, but not in a good way. Combing my beard = hours of fun. Shampooing my hair and beard in one fell swoop = LOL No one tells me when I get food/drink in my beard and I don’t realize it until it’s way too late. People can’t stop making asinine comments like, “hey… you missed a spot shaving”.  People are awful. Anyways, the point of me writing all this down is to curb any future desires I may have to throw out my razors.  It was fun, but mostly physically painful.  Kudos those who can maintain massive facial hair… you’re stronger men than me. And now I’m gonna shave this thing off… but maybe keep a mustache for a day (a la Dave Shumka).

2 months ago I decided to stop shaving and grow a beard.  Not one of those sculpted pretty beards but a manly, outdoorsy, ungroomed one.  I’d never done this before.  Why did I decide to do this now?  I found a single gray hair in my stubble.  I figured I better find out what I look like with a full beard before I turned into Captain Salt & Pepper.

Here’s what I learned about me and beards:

  • I have cowlicks in my neck-beard region.  They look as goofy as you’d imagine.
  • Once my facial hair grows long enough that I can pull on it, I CAN’T STOP playing with it EVER.  By bed time my face hurts.
  • After 6 weeks, my facial hair is long enough that it creates an actual layer between my face and my pillow.  Sleeping feels weird.
  • My face looks very long with a beard.
  • I look older with a beard, but not in a good way.
  • Combing my beard = hours of fun.
  • Shampooing my hair and beard in one fell swoop = LOL
  • No one tells me when I get food/drink in my beard and I don’t realize it until it’s way too late.
  • People can’t stop making asinine comments like, “hey… you missed a spot shaving”.  People are awful.

Anyways, the point of me writing all this down is to curb any future desires I may have to throw out my razors.  It was fun, but mostly physically painful.  Kudos those who can maintain massive facial hair… you’re stronger men than me.

And now I’m gonna shave this thing off… but maybe keep a mustache for a day (a la Dave Shumka).

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  1. el-pee said: C’mon, at least post a picture of the actual beard before you shave it. As much as I love the Etch-A-Sketch beard… Also, be careful you don’t injure the small birds nesting in there as you remove it. No one ever tells you about those, either.
  2. cvxn said: Moustache beats beard every time.
  3. vanmega posted this